One of the joys I have as a dad is the responsibility of taking our teenage daughter to school most mornings.  Our commute is approximately 30 minutes which allows time for both of us to fully awaken and have some great conversation.  Obviously some morning commutes are quieter than others.  Many mornings are filled with laughter by what we see or hear or remember from the past few days.

This morning we experienced what I would call a “lost in translation” moment.  My lovely wife and daughter stopped to pick up dinner last night at Pei Wei without me.  So this morning we were discussing the food and she commented that the crab rangoons had too much crab and were really crabby.  When she made that statement evidently I wasn’t listening very well because I did not hear the word “crab” or “crabby.”  What was a “b” I thought was a “p”!  That is not a word we typically use in our family so I asked with a slightly turned head, “What are you saying?”  So she repeated it verbatim… needless to say we both laughed hysterically when we realized what had been lost in translation.

Isn’t it interesting that most of us think we are good listeners.  I confess it is a struggle and something I am really striving to improve upon.  Here are a few things I am learning in striving to be a better listener…

1. Listen with your eyes. Studies reveal that 80% of conversation is non-verbal.  It’s not only what people say but also the manner in which they say it.  By looking someone in the eye it communicates value… that what they are saying is important enough for you to stop what you are doing to listen.  I continue to be reminded as someone once said, “You cannot fake listening.”
2. Listen with your heart. It’s a challenge but it is critical that we refuse the tendency to develop our response while someone is speaking.  When we do we miss the opportunity to listen with compassion to what the person is not only saying but what they are feeling.  Many times throughout the Gospels it is said of Jesus that he had compassion for people.  We must do likewise.
3. Listen with your time. I continue to discover the more time I spend with someone the better I understand what they are saying and the better we communicate.  If we are going to be better listeners, we must make time to be with people without thinking of where we are going next or all the other things we could be doing, etc.

What practical ways are you learning to be a better listener and avoiding things being lost in translation?